Pediatrics

Today, I had a revelation. I now completely understand why Adam does not want to go into Pediatrics.

 

Background: I have a temporary schedule for the month of September, while my school phases out another foreign teacher from the Small International Class. That means I teach the Big International Class (12 4- and 5-year old boys!) per usual and then I will start with the other class in a month. In the mean time, I spend 15 to 20 minutes with the "normal" (read: Chinese) classes twice per week. My presence is pretty much the only English these kids get.

 

Most of the time, the kids look at me with big eyes and gaping mouths. I usually start off with a song, everyone introduces themselves (though a few don't have English names), and then we sing the song again at the end. I have never in my life sung the Eensy Weensy Spider so much!! When I was telling Adam this, his response was "Wait--you don't actually sing, do you? You subject those kids to your singing?!" Um, yes. And clearly, as I am the only English speaker, I am the only singer. The kids make some sounds, follow the hand motions the 2nd or 3rd time around (mouths hanging open the 1st time), and the teachers do try their best to follow or motivate the kids. Their participation definitely depends on their age, but it's been ok so far. Until this morning...

 

I walked into the smallest class, consisting of 15 or so 2- and young 3-year old kids, while they were finishing a snack. Now, one of the kids was already crying. As soon as I entered, half of them burst into tears and ran to one of the 3 Chinese teachers in the room. The rest just started at me, open-mouthed, as if they had no idea what to do or think. I have been working with kids pretty much my entire life, and my presence has caused a wide-range of emotions: cursing (Bronx), hugging (babysitting), waving hello (camp)...but screaming? Not in recent memory. So the teachers gathered the kids and they sat in a row with me in front of them. One of the teacheres even sat next to me with a puppet. We sang the Eensy Weensy Spider....tears. We sang it again....more tears. I said "My name is Alison" and they howled. One teacher suggested "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes," but I didn't want to stand up or make any sudden movements, for fear of screaming, so I chose a much more familiar, softer song: "Twinkle, Twinkle." Yes, I even used hand motions that they could imitate, but the only result was more crying!! We sang it again, and that was it for me. I felt like I was just making the situation worse, the teachers were overwhelmed with the number of criers on their hands, and I couldn't do or say anything to comfort these little ones. I said thank you, goodbye to the kids (tears and sniffles), and went on my merry way.

 

I could not take that on a regular basis! Last fall, Adam described his Peds rotation as 30 minutes of trying to get the kid distracted by singing, using stuffed animals, checking out every member of the kid's family, etc, only to accomplish a very short medical exam. That's what I felt like when I was with this class; they must have thought I had a white coat on and a syringe in my hand because that's how they looked at me. I'm looking forward to having my own group of small kids next month so they gradually adjust to me and I feel like I can actually teach.

 

For the most part, I am enjoying my time with the Big Class. It is a definite change from middle school in NY! (ps: Happy 1st Day of School!)

Stealing Alison's post

I want you guys to pretend this post is funnier and better written than it is...because this is Alison's story. She just didn't have enough time last night to put it in writing.

To give you the background: we started taking Mandarin classes last week (resulting in a fairly grueling weekly schedule as they are Mon Wed Fri from 7 pm until 9 pm), but we've had 5 classes thus far and have felt like we're learning so much. We now know how to say, "Hi, we are American from New York City, how are you? Do you have any brothers? I am an English teacher, where are you from? I am very hungry" type things. Not bad considering we knew absolutely nothing but hand gestures and picture-drawing last Monday.
(side note 1: Alison may be tone deaf, but she gets the 4 tonal sounds perfectly almost every time. She finishes and the teacher claps. Everytime. Total superstar.
side note 2: The "h" sound has a slight hebrew h sound to it, and sometimes she forgets to do a light throat gurgle and lets loose a sound that belongs on the end of baruch or beginning of chamotze. I crack up everytime thinking of how superJew Alison can't help bringing our roots to this new language ;)

Anyways, back to the story. Buoyed with our rapid Mandarin acquisition, Alison went to the bank by herself after work and organized our rent money to be transfer into our landlord's account and paid for our internet. The people there didn't speak English, and as she was telling me this story while we were walking to the restaurant, I was so impressed with her! We immediately sit down, Alison says, "well, we should get a beer to celebrate!"

Normally, we'd thumb through the menu to the drinks and point at the picture of the beer, but today, Alison decided to order beer just like we learned in class. The waitress nods, doesn't even repeat what we say, and we high-five at the table, so impressed with what just happen that we don't think twice when the beer doesn't come in the next ten minutes.

Then, a steaming pile of ground pork and tofu in hot chili sauce comes from the kitchen...and the waitress says the word somewhat similar to the word for beer as she sets it on the table.

After laughing hysterically for a few moments, we agreed that the misunderstanding was a sign from above to not be too cocky about our Mandarin abilities yet ;)

The Great Wall Adventure

Yesterday, Sarah, Alison, and I went on 6k Great Wall hike from JinShanling to Simatai based out of a backpacker’s hostel. (Note, if you want to take full advantage of Alison's spectacular photography, just click on the pictures to get them in their full glory!)

During the 3 hour drive to get there, the air quality improved gradually until we arrived…and we seriously took our first deep breaths in 2 weeks! You don’t realize how bad the pollution is until you get out of it—it’s amazing what the human body can adjust to and how “pollution” has become our baseline.

The thing about the Great Wall is that your impressions of it change while you’re visiting it. When you first walk 30 minutes up a mini-mountain to arrive on the wall, with the Wall directly in your sights (this is what you see)...

...you’re thinking, “Wow, it is much taller/bigger than I had pictured, “ or “Interesting. I didn’t realize that it’s built on the peaks of all the mountains.” To, “There’s absolutely nothing around here. And there are a million stones stacked on top of the mountains? How many Chinese peasants died building this thing?” You can’t help but reflect on the sheer amount of labor that went into the construction.

Then you get on the Wall itself and you’re just awestruck not only by the size where you’re standing... ...but by how far it stretches. Just look how far it goes in either direction!

(And look at the difference between Alison's camera and mine!) When you start the hike, the Great Wall remains the Great Wall for about an hour. There are definitely lots of steps up and down, but you're so enthralled by the scenery and so excited that you are actually walking on a structure that was built so long ago that you don't really notice the physicality of it. So it’s completely delightful. (Alison kept saying outloud, "I cannot believe I'm walking on the Great Wall of China!") You can see, however, that the hike is still difficult as I’m already starting to sweat!

Of course, Alison is having a grand ol' time sweat-free. Life's not fair sometimes. But, the Great Wall helped kick-start Alison's sweat production when out of nowhere, it turned into ... the Great Stairmaster.

You feel like you’re climbing 1000s of steps straight up a mountain side only to get to the top where a watch tower is located, have your mind blown by the view, take a few silly profile pictures, be bombarded by old Chinese people selling souvenirs or cold beer/water/tea/cookies and rest…before you take the Stairmaster down and start the process over.

This is particularly tame part of the Great Stairmaster. On a more difficult stretch, the steps are like 2 feet tall each! Here's Alison, 2 steps down, before we start our climb up that huge mountain in the distance.

By this point, I’ve sweat so much that my once-light gray shirt is now dark-gray, the backpack (which admittedly is very heavy since we packed a ton of water, food, and guidebooks) is SOPPING wet. Here's my "beautiful," schweddy self after the Stairmaster:Note the backpack strap lines, the backpack outline on my back, and my stomach sweat. Dead sexy. Lucky for you, the internet doesn't transmit smell with pictures...By this point, I stank almost as bad as Dad does after a round of golf in the summer. Never fear, though: we’re still having the time of our lives--even Sarah, who wasn’t feeling well.

After a while, the Great Stairmaster turns into the Great Treadmill. For some reason, in a few parts of the wall, there are no steps, so it slopes up the mountain. You can see that It’s the type of incline that would be fun to ski down…not take baby steps up. For me, this was the worst part of the hike because I hate treadmills.

The Great Treadmill then turns into the Great Crumble. One of the huge advantages of this tour is that there were very few other people on the Wall with us since the hike is in a more isolated, less touristy part. So it makes sense that not all of the wall is restored. And by not restored, I mean crumbling steps and steep inclines! Climbing up and down during this segment was actually my favorite part of the Wall because it just felt so much more…historically authentic?

Then, we finished the hike and took this picture of the wall that is currently off limits to tourists.

And then we started on the last leg of our journey, the Great Bonus, because we had another 30 minute hike down a huge mountain to get the car. We then napped and planned future trips on the way back and had a delicious dinner with Sarah at a Korean restaurant by the backpackers’ hostel! On our way back to the subway, there were 100 couples dancing in a parking lot (only in China, right?):

Long story short, yesterday was our favorite day in China thus far: yes it was not an easy hike but it was so worth it! We’re going to suggest the tour for anyone who come…and then we’ll meet you after the hike for Korean food in a cool area and take you back to our apt for foot massages!

What is Jewish?

Today was my 2nd day of school, and I spent most of it with the "Big International Class" (11 4- and 5-year old boys). The assistant wants very much to learn English, so she kind of attached herself to me. As in, when I was at a table playing with a few of the kids, she took pictures of my hair with her cell phone.

So the kids were getting served lunch and she looked at me and said "In America, you...." and crossed herself and put her hands in front of her like she was praying. I laughed and said "No, not all Americans, just Christians." Clearly she didn't know what that meant, so I used a Chinese dictionary (always handy to have!) to show her the words "religion" and "Christian." Then I said "I am not Christian. I am Jewish." She was very confused, so I drew a Jewish star for her. No meaning registered. I went back to the dictionary and looked up "Judaism" and "Jewish" and when she read the characters, she said "Oooooooh, yes yes." She then went to her cell phone to type in Chinese characters (the cell phones convert characters to English and vice versa because the texting is done in the ABC alphabet). When she showed it to me, it read one word: Germany.

I DIED. OHMYGOSH. I say Jewish and she says Germany?? Seriously??

I recovered quickly and tried to say 1940, but that was confusing, so I looked for "Holocaust" in the dictionary. Big surprise; it wasn't there. However, "Hitler" was on the opposite page, so I pointed to it. Her response? "Oh yes! I watch lot of TV!"

So apparently the Communist system equates Judaism only with movies about the Holocaust. I wonder...is she watching American movies (Schindler's List, The Pianist, etc.) or the government controlled television (Chinese people playing Nazis and Jews? I would love to see that!) To be determined...

getting one-upped

Before I talk about how my younger siblings totally one-upped me on the whole becoming famous situation, I have to tell you about the residency permit application. So, yesterday, Feng (who took us to the exit/entry bureau and bought a bicycle she didn't know how to ride) said with a look of awe on her face that Teacher Wu herself was going to take us to the exit/entry bureau. Today, after we had an awesome meeting about our research projects this year and clinical opportunities that we're going to have (I'll post on those once they're more solidly developed, so sometime in the next week, but basically there are 3 different projects, and each one is superexciting!), Feng goes, "Get ready Teacher Wu's coming soon!" Everyone in the office buckles down and works quietly, like Judgment Day has arrived. A half hour passes without a sound and then, there's a knock on the door, everyone startles like in the movies, the door opens and...

...in walks this incredibly poised, elderly women who is 5 foot 2 tops, and weighs all of 70 pounds. I almost laugh before she stares at me, expressionlessly says, "I hope you are ready to leave?" and turns and walks out the door. Sarah and I had to basically jog to keep up with her and she didn't crack a smile the whole way there. She walks into the government building like she owns the place, marches up to the same desk with the same. exact. paperwork. we had when we were dismissed, and starts talking. She pulls out another stamped letter saying god knows what, her own id, and in 30 seconds, we have submitted our paperwork for our residency handout without any problem. Sarah and I were flabbergasted, and when we thanked her profusely, she said, "Bah! The Chinese government has stupid rules. But I" and then neither of us understood what she said. Basically, if you're ever in trouble in China, call Teacher Wu and she'll save the day.

So back to my siblings one-upping me. So here is the video on youtube of me and Sarah on the Chinese television (push control and then click the underlined words for those of you who aren't as computer savvy...cough cough mom cough cough). But then, my sister, poopface (you may know her as Jennifer), was interviewed by the New York Times for her work on social media with scholastic book clubs! Pretty awesome. And Blake might not have been featured in the press of late, but he's about to start his senior year at hahvahd, meaning he's juggling writing an honors thesis about affirmative action in sports, applying for the gamut of prestigious internships and jobs, and is still maintaining a full courseload and swimming. If that weren't impressive enough, he's also deciding whether to accept the Argentinian national swim team's invitation to obtain citizenship so he can swim at the Olympics for them. Not a bad few days for the 3 of us :)

thumbs up, thumbs down

--Transferring subways in the middle of the CBD (central business district): thumbs down

(More people than you've ever seen in your life. No ventilation in the tunnel. Deodorant is not readily available in this country. I look like I just left the gym and this is on the way to work).

--Turning off the headlights as the subway is pulling into the station: thumbs up

--Entering an old subway car (line 1, to my school) with no air conditioning: thumbs down

Welcome to my morning commute :)

--Being able to hold a card up to a reader (no swiping necessary) and see your remaining balance on a brightly lit screen: thumbs up

--Putting your bag through a security scanner (like at the airport) at the subway station: thumbs up

(I think it's funny because there are piles upon piles of bags and one person half-glancing at them while he/she talks to someone else)

--2rmb for the subway and .4 for the bus: thumbs up

(6.75ish rmb = 1 dollar)

--15 minute walk to the subway: thumbs down

--Walking through a garden on the way and seeing an older man teaching a young woman something involving a massive sword: thumbs way up

--Using a Chinese computer at work: thumbs down

--Recognizing universal symbols (copy/paste/internet explorer/microsoft office) to be able to successfully use the computer: thumbs up

--Having 3 to 4 hours in the middle of the day to lesson plan: holy cow. This is amazing.

Also, I have to write about my favorite thing in China so far. Did anyone know that kids here don't wear diapers? I certainly wasn't prepared for that! Little babies (I would say from around 5-6 months) wear these bottoms (shorts or pants) that have cut outs in the front and the back. Not little circles, but from one calf, across the hips, down to the other calf. And these are on both sides of the pants (one big cut-out). So you see people holding their babies (in our neighborhood it's mostly grandmothers) and these little tushies are hanging out! On the subway yesterday, a woman had her son on her lap and he was spread eagle facing me. THANK GOODNESS he didn't decide that was a good time to pee!! A few days ago, Adam and I were walking through one of the gardens and passed a woman squatting while holding a young kid with her legs spread out. The woman was making sounds like "shhh shhh shhhh" and then as we passed, there was a stream coming from below that little girl. On the sidewalk!! Craaaazy. I saw the same thing on Monday afternoon on the stairs that lead to an apartment complex, but the girl was a little bit older and squatted on her own.

So these are my questions:

1. How do the kids know when to go and when not to go? I have not seen kids urinating in stores or on the bus or anything. How does a kid that young know the difference?

2. How do you train a kid to know these things?

3. What about pooping??

4. They must wear diapers when they sleep....right?

5. At what age do you start them in this style, and at what age do you wean them off?

This also surprised me because there is such an emphasis on cleanliness here, at least in the schools and in the home. For example, when entering the school (or many offices and people's homes), you either put little booties over your shoes or put on your pair of "indoor shoes" in the lobby. The kids are constantly washing their hands, faces, etc. and they each have their own cup, hand towel, and face towel, so as not to spread germs.

Also, this would never happen in the U.S. - people are so concerned with privacy and modesty and fearful of inappropriateness that I cannot imagine Americans walking around with their babies' entire bottom halves exposed. Also in the schools, the kids have a 2 hour naptime (hence my long break) where they change clothes into pajamas or just a T-shirt with no bottoms at all. They are so young that the teachers have to help. I'm sure at preschools in the U.S., teachers help with going to the bathroom or whatnot, but I feel like it would be suspicious if a male teacher were in this role and exposed to kids in this way. Though majority of the teachers are female (all are female at my school), there is still a stigma at home that I don't think exists here.

If you can possibly answer any of those questions about the babies and their cutout clothing, please send them my way! I just don't get it!! :)

Language Lessons

We had our first Mandarin class tonight! Hilarious. There’s a place close by that offers classes, so we tried to sign up for a group beginner class, but it had already started. We lucked out because now we basically have a private tutor (though they said they would add students if any more beginners come). We’re going three times a week for 2 hours at a time, which is definitely sufficient at this point. SO here are some highlights:

Adam: trying to pronounce the u with 2 dots over it. Teacher response: it sounds like you are going to womit! (v = w, which is made it even funnier)

North Carolina: bei [north] ka luo lai na. If you sound this out phonetically, it is bay kah low lie na. Arizona: ya li sang na. Phonetically: ya lee song na. If you say these words fast enough, it sounds like Carolina and Arizona in a thick Chinese accent. Adam and I were dying when Olive (our lao shi, or teacher) was telling us!

We also learned that Chinese doesn’t really have the “to be” verb in many sentences. For example, I have a headache is “Wo tou tong” which literally means I/my head pain. This explains a lot about Chinese speech and accents in America. As Adam realized and explained to our teacher, many people just said “I headache” and skip out on the verb. (Dad, this explains more about the random accent that tends to come out when you go to the Great Wall for dinner!)

I think we will learn a lot because we could make connections from the words we hear announced on the bus/subway, pronunciations of places throughout China, and everyday language. It will not be easy, but I hope we will be able to speak some very simple Mandarin by the time you see us next!